


12 Days of Amoneki

by jaeger_soul



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff, M/M, just general adorableness, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:10:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeger_soul/pseuds/jaeger_soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally written for a friend, leaving it up for those of you interested in still reading it</p><p>This series is based on a general idea of Kaneki and Amon falling in love and moving in together. Amon hides all traces that Kaneki's a half-ghoul and Kaneki is able and willing to protect Amon from any and all other ghouls. Together, they've found love in a world that's wrong</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shall We Dance?

Kaneki watched the credits roll across the television screen, able to pick out a handful of actors he recognized. He felt the investigator shift next to him, letting out a breath. He responded with an exhale of his own, though his was a bit more contented.

Amon’s arm wrapped around the boy’s shoulders, pressing his small frame closer. “Tired, Ken?”

The half-ghoul was doubtful that he’d ever tire of hearing Amon call him by an array of nicknames. Each one was always sweeter than the last and Kaneki would always love hearing them. He shook his head, smiling at the sound of his human’s voice. “No. I just really liked that movie.”

Amon’s fingers drifted along Kaneki’s upper arm, bringing goosebumps to the surface of the boy’s skin. “I didn’t know you were a fan of indie films.”

While it was true Kaneki’s last few movie choices were independent or low-budget films, that wasn’t what had drawn him to this one in particular. “That’s not it,’ he mumbled, wondering if he should even bring it up. It’d probably been so long since Amon had done it, the half-ghoul’s request would probably be met with an immediate no.

“What is it?” his human asked, making it even easier to bring the request up, but…

“Ahh… you’ll just laugh,” Kaneki said, his face heating up at the idea. He rested his forehead against the investigator’s chest, wondering if there was a chance at dropping this conversation.

“Come on, it’s me. What is it?” Amon asked, trailing his fingers down the boy’s spine. Kaneki shivered at the touch and a groan slipped from his lips. Amon always had a way of dragging the truth out of him.

The half-ghoul let out a long sigh. “I chose this movie because it’s about dancing,” he mumbled, his voice muffled against Amon’s chest.

The investigator’s fingers continued their exploration, even shifting the boy’s shirt out of the way so it was skin on skin. He only spoke when Kaneki started to squirm. “I don’t know how to dance. I’ve never done it before.”

Kaneki couldn’t deny the small disappointment at knowing Amon didn’t know how. He’d always loved dancing as a child, the sight somewhat romantic and beautiful. He’d wondered when he would get the chance to waltz with the love of his life. He’d never imagined that the only one for him would have two left feet.

He shifted in Amon’s arms until he was staring up into his human’s eyes. It didn’t matter if they couldn’t dance – they’d shared so much already. He lifted one shoulder, giving the investigator a smile. “That’s okay. I’m sure I’m not that good anymore. It’s been a while.”

Amon seemed to hesitate a moment before he spoke. “Will you teach me?”

Kaneki felt his heart leap into his throat at the suggestion. “Oh… Amon.” He said with an exhale, wondering what he’d ever done to deserve someone like Amon in his life. He nodded, moving from the investigator’s arms and standing. “Of course. I’ll teach you what I know.” Kaneki extended his hand toward the human and helped him to his feet. “We’ll probably need to move the couch out of the way.”

Amon moved to push the sofa against one wall, opening the living room up, and Kaneki turned to the stereo system in the corner, selecting an instrumental CD to play in the background. Nervousness crept up in his stomach like a balloon slowly expanding or a thousand butterflies suddenly released.

“Ready?” the investigator asked from behind him, turning his face a shade of pink.

Kaneki turned back to look at him, nodding as the music started. He took the few steps between him and Amon, standing up on tip toe to kiss his cheek. “Take my hand with your left and put your right on my back, near my shoulders,” he instructed when he pulled away, watching the small smile playing on Amon’s lips. “What?”

“Nothing,” Amon replied, placing his hands where he was instructed, his fingers caressing the half-ghoul’s back. “You’re the feminine position in this?”

Kaneki shook his head at the blush quickly spreading once more. “I guess, if you want to call it that. But I’m smaller so it makes more sense. Besides, once you take the lead, it won’t be that difficult for me to follow.”

“You say that now,” Amon countered.

The half-ghoul placed his other hand on the investigator’s shoulder. “Okay. Imagine a box on the floor. The four corners are where we end up after each movement. You step to the left, pause, step back, pause, to the right and pause, diagonally forward to the second positon, and finally end back in the position we began. Alright?” he asked, watching Amon nod.

“We move to the count of three, alright?” he flicked his gaze up to his human’s, silently moving the two of them to the left. “One, two, three. And one, two, three,” he instructed, keeping Amon’s gaze on him. “Good, see? Okay, to the left. Good, and up.” He moved in time with the investigator, instructing him on when to move before falling silent, watching as Amon continued to move in the four step sequence he’d learned.

“Good, okay, now you can get a little more complicated if you want,” Kaneki said, moving them through the four step sequence once more. “When you reach the starting position again, you can add in a basic turn. Um… we don’t have to try it if you don’t want to,” he said, feeling a bit embarrassed at the idea.

“No, we can. I’d like to,” Amon responded, moving them through the box sequence once more. Once their feet were back in the starting position, the investigator hesitantly dropped his hand from the half-ghoul’s back, raising their arms together. He slowly turned until he was facing Amon again, both of their faces slightly pink. “How was that?”

“Um, f-fine, it was fine,” the boy stammered, face on fire as he moved back into the starting position. “C-Could maybe make it a bit tighter,” he mumbled, going through the four steps again. They moved through the motions a few more times before Amon tried another turn, this one less awkward than the first.

“See? You’re getting it,” Kaneki praised, his hand in Amon’s once more. Just getting to dance even once with him was enough. Amon had done so much for him already, Kaneki didn’t deserve the investigator going out of his way just to dance.

“I lied earlier,” Amon said, breaking the half-ghoul’s train of thought. When Kaneki turned his gaze back to him, Amon spoke again. “I do know one dance but it’s slower than this.”

When Kaneki raised his eyebrows, Amon came to a stop. He dropped his hands to the boy’s waist and lifted him up to stand on top of his feet and Kaneki felt the blush he knew was staining his cheeks. “A-Amon…”

“Arms around my neck,” the investigator responded with, waiting until the half-ghoul reached up to follow the instructions. The music was still playing softly in the background though it’d switched tracks. This one was softer. Romantic.

Amon moved them to the time of the music and Kaneki hid his face in his human’s chest. This was how he’d imagined it. Only awkward for a few seconds before it was beautiful. And with Amon’s slow movements, it was more than beautiful. It was perfect.


	2. All The Way Home, I'll Be Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki loved the snow. Almost as much as he loved being out in public with Amon at his side. Is there a chance he could have both?

The bed was cold when Kaneki woke in the middle of the night. He rolled over to cuddle next to his human, steal some of his body heat, but the cold sheets pulled him from sleep. Exhaustion tugged at his body but without his human by his side, it was pointless to try anymore.

“Amon?” he called out into the darkness, waiting a few seconds to hear if the investigator answered him. Silence continued to blanket the bedroom and Kaneki gave it a few seconds before he pushed the covers from his body. He stepped out of the bed and winced at the chilly wood flooring he had to step on.

He grabbed one of the investigator’s hoodies and put it on before he continued any further, still shivering underneath the warmth. “Amon?” he tried again, carefully stepping out of the bedroom. He tried to pretend it wasn’t but his heart was slamming against his ribcage as he stepped out further into the hall. Nothing could happen to his human, he wouldn’t let it.

“A-Amon?” he whispered, tears stinging his eyes. What had he just slept through?

The front door opened and Kaneki flattened himself against the wall, not daring to make another sound. If someone from the CCG was here to check on the investigator, Kaneki would have a hard time explaining what he was doing there. No one even knew that they knew each other.

“Kaneki?” Amon’s voice came to him in the silence, restarting the boy’s heart. He moved silently through the hall, closer to the door. The investigator brushed snow off his shoulders, glancing up when Kaneki cleared his throat. A smile touched Amon’s lips and Kaneki was sure it had to do with the oversized hoodie hanging off his frame.

“Wh-Where were you?” Kaneki asked, trying to pretend it was from the cold and not the lingering fear that something had happened to his human. As much as he tried to push the fear down, he had to ask. “Did… Did something happen?”

Amon shook his head and the half-ghoul exhaled, relief flooding through him. He was always worried they would have to pick up and move in the middle of the night. Or they’d run out of time and the CCG would split the two up.

“No, everything’s fine,” Amon said quietly, gesturing toward the window. “It just… well, it’s the first snowfall of the year. Normally it happens during the day but it started tonight, around midnight.”

Kaneki felt a smile tug at his mouth and he stepped closer to his human to look out the window.

Whenever the city was bathed in white, he could forget about the evil in the world. Forget that it was humans against ghouls. When the ground was covered in snow, Kaneki pretended they were a normal couple – just one that preferred to stay indoors.

Amon’s arms wrapped around his body and Kaneki leaned back against the human’s chest with a sigh. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered, watching the flakes drift their way toward earth. “We could take a walk in it, if you want to,” Amon offered, like the boy hadn’t been dreaming of the day they could walk down the street, hand in hand. Kaneki smiled at the idea, trying to decide if it was too crazy. It’s not like they would run into many people this late.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, leaning in to Amon’s warmth. He wanted to crawl back under the pile of blankets on the bed, keep his human all to himself, but another part of him was quickly falling in love with the idea of walking freely down the streets.

The second part was beginning to win and Kaneki slowly turned to face Amon, standing up on tip-toe to kiss him. “Okay,” he whispered against the investigator’s lips. “Let’s go for a walk.”

 

Amon let Kaneki continue to wear his hoodie but insisted he take a scarf along with him. Though ghouls couldn’t catch human viruses, Amon constantly worried about the small part of him that was still human. Kaneki usually gave in to the investigator, taking whatever precautions were suggested.

As soon as they were bundled up, they headed out the door, only pausing to lock the apartment back. Amon warned Kaneki about the ice on the steps and helped him down the last three, setting him on the snowy ground instead.

Kaneki buried his face in his scarf, pretending the heat was from the chill and not the flush he constantly wore around his human. Amon had a way about pulling out the blush on his face in the most innocent of ways.

Amon linked their fingers together as they walked through the snow, their footsteps audible in the silence. Nights were always quiet but this was the first Kaneki had heard this silent in a while. There was something almost peaceful about the quiet, the white and the solitary.

Normally, they tried not to be seen in public together, just in case the CCG ever made the connection that Kaneki was a ghoul. It wasn’t as if they would give Amon a free pass under the pretense that he didn’t know. Amon hunted ghouls. They would know he was involved if they discovered Kaneki was a ghoul – even just half of one.

Kaneki shifted his scarf to exhale out, watching his breath hang in the air. It’d been months since he’d gotten to walk around in the cold with Amon at his side and he wanted this night to last forever. Just walking hand in hand with his human for as long as they could before the sun came up and they’d have to retreat.

The half-ghoul’s breath hitched as the thought crossed his mind again. The same one he’d had since they first started this whole crazy thing. Through all of their hiding out and lying, the one constant thought plagued Kaneki’s every waking moment and disturbed him from sleep. _Am I holding him back?_

He stole a glance at Amon’s face as the investigator led him into the park a few buildings down from their apartment building. “Come on, come sit down with me,” Amon said, pulling Kaneki by the hand toward a bench. They sat down together and as soon as Amon’s arms were around him, Kaneki leaned his head against the investigator’s chest.

Kaneki was still close to drifting off but he kept his eyes open, watching the snow fall to the ground, slowly piling up around them. There was no telling when they would get this chance again and he didn’t want to miss a single moment of it. Wrapped up in Amon’s arms, watching the snow fall, there was nowhere else that the half-ghoul could call home.

“It’s beautiful,” Amon whispered, Kaneki’s hand still secure in his. Though the weather was truly a sight, and Kaneki didn’t think he’d ever see anything like the snow in the early morning, it wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He was in the arms of the most beautiful thing he’d ever come across and he still couldn’t believe it.

Kaneki shifted in Amon’s arms and turned his face up toward the investigator. He couldn’t remember a single time when those eyes were anything short of beautiful. His face colored as he leaned up to kiss the human’s lips, savoring the moment and memorizing the way it felt to kiss him in public, with snow falling around them. “I-I love you,” Kaneki whispered when they parted, his eyes fluttering closed again.

Amon moved his hands from Kaneki's back and the boy opened his eyes, staring into his human’s again. Amon’s hands were on either side of his face and he was pulled back into another soft kiss just after those three words were whispered back to him.


	3. Only Just A Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon has nightmares and doesn't want Kaneki to worry. But this is one nightmare Kaneki won't let the investigator keep to himself

The apartment was never this quiet. Amon eased the door closed behind him, keeping his eyes open for any movements as he crossed through the living room. His fingers itched for his gun but it would only work if his opponent was a human. If it was a ghoul coming to take his Kaneki, the gun was useless.

“Kaneki…?” Amon called into the darkness, knowing better than to click the lights on. Something was off. Didn’t feel right. He drew his gun, advancing quickly through the apartment. Only a handful of people had ever seen Kaneki around here. And of them, no one other than himself and the boy knew that he was half-ghoul. If anyone had found their way in, it wouldn’t be traced back through Amon’s position at the CCG. He’d been too careful.

His footsteps were silent as he came through the darkened apartment, reaching the bedroom door in a matter of seconds. Amon cocked the gun and took half a step back before charging forward, kicking the door in.

It fell to the ground and he quickly crossed over it, turning in a circle to check the room. No one? It didn’t make sense. The whole place was dark. Who had come and stolen the boy in his absence? Surely, someone had to have been here. There was no way this was a coincidence.

“Kaneki?” he called again, keeping his gun at the ready. Whoever had stolen him might have left some sort of trap – a way to silence the only other person who knew what Kaneki was.

There on the bed, the boy lie. His chest no longer rising and falling and Amon lost himself in the image. The gun fell to the carpet, his shaking legs carried him just far enough to sink on one side of the bed, gathering the boy up in his arms. His throat and chest slit open, clearly the work of someone from the CCG and their quinque. No one else could have done this kind of damage to a ghoul. Even half of one.

“Amon?” Kaneki’s soft voice came to him in the moment. A trick of his own brain. Trying to cling onto a memory long since passed. The dead didn’t talk back but it only served to drive the stake deeper in his heart.

“K-Kaneki… don’t,” he whispered, resting his head against the boy’s chest. He’d lost people many times over to the ghouls in this world but no death hurt as much as this one did. It broke apart the last shard of himself he’d kept tucked away for so long. Kaneki was the only one he cared enough about to lie for – put his career and life on the line for.

“Amon, what is it?” Kaneki’s hands shook him, the phantom feeling turning more solid as the seconds passed.

Amon lifted his head, staring into the boy’s concerned eyes. The dark room and dead of night came back to him. The dread left his system as the knowledge that he’d been sleeping slipped through his mind. He shifted in the bed, pulling the boy closer to his chest. “Nothing… I was dreaming.”

The boy curled up next to him, tracing the outline of the breast pocket on Amon’s shirt. Silence encompassed the two and Amon closed his eyes, letting the feeling of Kaneki safe in his arms take him over, ease the dream into the back of his mind.

“What were you dreaming about?” Kaneki asked, his voice quiet when he spoke.

Amon opened his eyes in the darkness, shifting enough to kiss the top of the boy’s head. “Nothing. Just a dream about work,” he let the lie slip through his lips without thinking about it. The less Kaneki knew about how increasingly worried he was becoming, the better. He couldn’t think of a single reason to drag the half-ghoul into the panic he’d felt for a long time now. If he came home just a few minutes later than he normally did, he worried that someone had gotten to the boy. If he didn’t hear from Kaneki by lunch, the investigator was convinced he was dead. To let Kaneki know exactly what he was feeling, the fear that was slowly consuming him, would be… he wouldn’t do it.

“You said my name,” Kaneki whispered, fingers stilling against Amon’s chest. “What were you… Amon, what was it?”

The investigator let out a breath and ran his fingers up the boy’s spine. Kaneki wasn’t stupid. He’d picked up Amon’s behavior and his ‘random’ check-ins throughout the day. He’d noticed that the investigator was starting to worry. Considering Amon was almost constantly waking up in a sweat, worried sick about the boy, Kaneki had most likely figured it out. But… how to explain that he’d basically relived his worst nightmare again in dreamland? He’d never told Kaneki about this dream in particular before, why start now?

Amon felt the boy snuggle closer to him, felt his lips against his neck where he softly planted a kiss. He could have sworn he heard the boy ask him again what it was. How was he supposed to give an explanation for what he’d been dreaming for weeks now? How could he explain why coming home was more terrifying than leaving most days?

“Kaneki-“

“Was I dead?” Kaneki whispered. When Amon stilled, the boy pushed out of the investigator’s arms. He caught Amon’s gaze and let out a breath. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

He couldn’t lie, not when the truth was so neatly spelled out in front of him. “Yes.” He watched Kaneki’s gaze drop and he tugged the boy closer, keeping a tight hold on him. “It was only a dream, I’ll never let it happen.”

Neither one dared to bring up the fact that Amon wasn’t always here. Couldn’t always be around to protect him. Kaneki knew how to use his kagune but he wasn’t as comfortable with it as he once was. Add in the lack of meat Kaneki consumed and it was just a disaster waiting to happen. Having the apartment too close to the CCG was high on the dangerous list but if something happened, Amon was two trains and a cab ride away. There wasn’t time for him to get back to the boy. Kaneki would be on his own, fighting whatever battle had been brought to their doorstep.

“I’ll be fine,” Kaneki whispered, kissing Amon’s cheek. He curled up in the investigator’s arms, pulling the covers over the two again. “Go back to sleep. Your partner will ask why you look tired if you don’t. Just get some sleep.”

Amon couldn’t fight the fatigue etched into his muscles and quickly gave in, wondering if Kaneki was truly capable of taking care of himself while Amon was gone. He’d taken it upon himself to protect the boy but what was he supposed to do if he wasn’t there and something happened to his half-ghoul? Returning to his former life was no longer an option. Not since Kaneki walked into it.


	4. You've Given Me The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki severely underestimates going to a ghoul investigator's house for a few hours

Kaneki crawled into bed next to Amon, leaning over to kiss the investigator’s cheek as he settled the covers between them. Amon glanced his way with a smile and Kaneki darted his gaze to the phone in the investigators hand.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked, his voice soft when he spoke. He slid down on the bed, tucking the covers underneath his chin. He stared up at him as his human let out a sigh.

“Nothing… um, I know Sunday’s are normally our days but... do you remember Shinohara? He came by for dinner a long time ago. Shortly after you moved in,” Amon said, his gaze darting back to his phone. “He, uh… he and his wife’s babysitter for tomorrow is sick so he asked me if I could watch his kids. I’ve done it a few times before but I can tell him no,” Amon said, glancing to the half-ghoul.

Kaneki snuggled against his human, resting his head on the investigator’s lap. “No, that’s fine.” He walked his fingers up the man’s chest, pulling him down for a kiss when he got Amon’s attention. He rested his head against Amon’s chest when they parted. “Are they coming here or..?”

“I’m not sure,” the investigator responded, running his fingers through the boy’s hair. Kaneki knew he could get lost in the feeling but he tried to focus on Amon’s voice. “He probably wants me to come over there. Their house is child-proofed.”

Kaneki wasn’t sure when the investigator’s words stopped reaching him but he woke up when Amon was getting out of bed, the sunlight behind him. “A-Amon?” he asked, rubbing at the sleep in his eyes. How had he slept through Amon getting settled last night? Normally he woke up at the slightest movement.

Amon turned back toward the half-ghoul, giving him a smile. “Shh, go back to sleep. I’m just getting the coffee pot started.”

Kaneki watched him leave the bedroom and kept his gaze on the door for a few seconds but his eyes eventually drifted closed again and he gave in to sleep. His dreams were mostly peaceful when he was in Amon’s arms and last night had been no different.

He didn’t stir again until the door creaked open once more and Amon was gently shaking him, offering up a mug of black coffee. Kaneki sat up in bed and took the mug from him, trying a small sip before leaning back against the headrest.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, his voice still groggy from sleep. He looked up at his human and offered a smile, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky. He didn’t have a clue why he’d gotten to be with someone so sweet and caring but he was here. “You’re the best,” Kaneki added, leaning forward to kiss the investigator.

Amon laughed softly, reaching up to run his fingers through the boy’s hair. “You’re welcome. Is it hot enough?” His fingers trailed down the side of the boy’s face and the half-ghoul leaned in to the touch, a soft hum leaving his throat as he nodded.

Kaneki turned to kiss Amon’s cheek, the slight stubble on his human’s face tickling his lips. He pulled away with a smile, bringing his mug to his lips again. Amon threaded their fingers together, bringing Kaneki’s hand to his lips for a quick kiss, staining the boy’s face with pink.

“I called Shinohara this morning and told him I was fine with babysitting,” Amon said, taking a sip of his own coffee. “I mentioned bringing you and he was fine with it but if you’re not interested in coming, that’s fine.”

Kaneki shook his head, smiling up at his human. “No, I’m good to come with you. How many kids does he have?”

“Three,” Amon took a sip of coffee before continuing. “Aged 6, 4, and 1. Ironically, the most well behaved one is the youngest.” The half-ghoul smiled, nodding. He opened his mouth to say something but Amon tightened his hold on the boy’s hand and Kaneki let the response die on his tongue. The investigator let a small breath out before turning his gaze to Kaneki’s. “I trust you and I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself but… considering we’ll be in a ghoul investigator’s home, I would like it if you’d have something to eat before we go.”

Kaneki’s gaze dropped almost immediately as Amon started talking but he nodded along to what his human was telling him. He was right. They’d be around a ghoul investigator and his children. He had to be careful and if he wasn’t, he could get caught. That would leave Amon in an awkward position and there was a high chance he would lose his job… or worse.

The half-ghoul drew in a breath and nodded, looking back up to Amon. Although he hated consuming what he knew he had to, he didn’t exactly have a choice. “Okay… I understand.” He took a small sip of his coffee to busy himself. When his mouth was clear again, he glanced up toward his human again. “When are we supposed to be there?”

“He said just before seven, so around six forty or so,” Amon responded, sliding from the bed. He leaned forward to plant a kiss to Kaneki’s forehead. “I need to send a file to Mado and then I’m yours until we leave.”

Kaneki nodded, moving from the bed and following after his human. “I’ll pick out a movie?” he called out when Amon disappeared from the bedroom. He set his coffee mug down on the dresser while he pulled one of the investigator’s sweatshirts over his head. The half-ghoul picked up his mug again and moved from the bedroom, wandering into the dining area. Amon was set up at the breakfast bar, laptop already powered on and he was typing something in a browser window. He looked up when the half-ghoul entered and smiled up at him. Although Kaneki tried not to flush, he wasn’t capable of stopping it and merely dropped his gaze to the floor. “Um… s-should I pick out a movie?”

“Sure, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Amon responded.

Kaneki moved from the breakfast bar to the living room, picking the remote for the television. He moved to the couch and curled up in the middle seat, knowing Amon would sit on either side of him and he would get to lean on his human or rest his head on his chest. He flipped through a few movie options before settling on one that looked like a fluffy romantic comedy. Kaneki had found a liking for the movies that he could curl against Amon’s chest during. Which was really any of them because he did so anyway.

Amon moved into the living room and sank down on side of him, opening his arms for Kaneki to curl into. The half-ghoul wasted no time and spread a blanket over them, resting his head against his human’s chest. “I was thinking this one,” he mumbled, gesturing to the movie still up on the screen. It was in another language so they’d have to read the subtitles but Kaneki knew the investigator didn’t mind it.

“Sounds good to me,” Amon responded, curling his arms around the half-ghoul as Kaneki pressed start on the movie. He cuddled against his human’s chest, letting out a soft sigh. Nowhere was more comfortable than curled up in Amon’s arms.

“Ready to go?” Amon asked, pulling on the boy’s scarf to straighten it.

Kaneki couldn’t deny the anxiety bubbling in his stomach but he was actually looking forward to this. Baby-sitting with Amon sounded like a good way to end the weekend. He’d never seen his human around children for more than a few minutes at a time and he was curious how he would be. He nodded, reaching up to straighten Amon’s collar. “Mhm.” He caught the investigator’s gaze and stood on his tip-toes to kiss him, arms easily sliding around the human’s neck. When he pulled away, they held each other’s gaze for a few seconds before Kaneki looked away. “C-Come on, we don’t want to be late.”

The half-ghoul let Amon lead him down the sidewalk and waited while they hailed a cab. The investigator told the driver where to go and Kaneki snuggled against Amon’s chest again, breathing in his scent like it’d been days since they’d seen each other.

The ride wasn’t long and soon, Kaneki found himself having to disentangle from the investigator, trudging their way up to the house in question. Amon rang the doorbell and stepped back a pace, taking Kaneki’s hand in his own.

Shinohara opened the door and beckoned them inside, patting Amon on the shoulder as he passed by. He glanced at Kaneki as he led them further into the house. “I don’t believe we met. Shinohara Yukinori, I work with Amon at the Commission of Counter Ghoul,” he said, extending his hand toward the boy.

Kaneki slowly drew in a breath and grasped the man’s hand in his own, shaking once with a smile. “Kaneki Ken, sir. I’m Amon’s…” He quickly darted a glance Amon’s way, unsure what the investigator wanted to tell people about the nature of their relationship.

“Partner,” Amon finished for him, taking the half-ghoul’s other hand in his own. Kaneki felt his face color once again but he nodded, turning his gaze back toward the older investigator.

Shinohara smiled, nodding. “Pleased to meet you. I’m glad Amon’s finally met someone,” he commented, glancing between them before leading them into the living room. “Raiden’s down for a nap right now but he needs to be up in about half an hour or he won’t sleep tonight. Daichi and Kaiya are in the den, come on.”

They crossed through the living room and Shinohara led them down into the den, gesturing to the two playing with a pack of crayons and construction paper. The half-ghoul watched as the little girl picked through the red crayons before choosing one to use.

“Daichi, Amon’s here,” Shinohara said, leaning down to get the little boy’s attention. Daichi seemed too focused on his drawing to pay attention to anyone else so his father gave up, turning his gaze back on the pair. “There’s money on the kitchen counter, order a pizza. Just don’t let Daichi have more than two slices. He’ll try to tell you that he can have four but that’s not true. He gets two, max,” Shinohara said with a laugh. “Go ahead and take your coats off and get settled. I’m going to see if my wife’s ready.”

Shinohara disappeared down the hall and Kaneki followed Amon’s lead of shrugging his coat off. He folded his and placed it on the armrest of the couch on top of his human’s before unwinding the scarf around his neck and laying it on top of the pile.

“They’re so adorable,” Kaneki commented quietly, watching the way the two interacted, passing crayons to each other when they were finished using them. He glanced toward Amon, smiling when the investigator met his gaze. “Did you babysit them often?”

Amon shrugged, sinking down onto the couch. “After Raiden was born, I did for a few months but not for too long. That’s about when you moved in with me.” He leaned back, watching Daichi finish up his creation before presenting it to the investigator.

The little boy grinned, holding the page out to Amon. “It’s for you.” He stood up when Amon took it from him and crawled onto the couch, pointing to specific points of the drawing. “That’s you, and that’s daddy.” 

“Thank you,” Amon said, wrapping his arm around the little boy’s shoulders and giving him a hug. “I love this part, is that my quinque?”

“Mhm,” Daichi nodded, pointing to another part of the drawing. “That’s a ghoul you and daddy destroyed. See? It’s all in bits ‘cause you guys are the best ghoul fighters in the world.”

The investigator’s gaze flicked up to Kaneki’s, holding it for a few seconds before looking down at the little boy with a smile. “Thank you, Daichi. I love it.” He gave the child another hug before Daichi moved from the couch to start another drawing.

Kaneki took the boy’s place on the couch and leaned into Amon’s touch. It wasn’t like he expected them to love ghouls but Kaneki had severely underestimated how uncomfortable he’d be here. “It’s okay,” he said to the silent question hanging in the air, turning toward Amon. He placed a hand on the side of his face and smiled, shaking his head. “Don’t even worry about it.”

Amon looked like he was going to say something but a closing door down the hall interrupted him. Shinohara and his wife appeared in the den a minute later, tugging on their jackets and Amon stood from the couch.

“Thanks again for this, Amon. And it was nice to meet you, Kaneki,” Shinohara said, taking his wife’s hand when she was finished adjusting her jacket. She smiled at the two before following her husband out of the den.

Daichi looked up from his drawing, studying Kaneki. The half-ghoul tried not to feel uncomfortable under the stare but he felt a little like he was being examined. He forced a smile. “Hi,” he softly said, watching the boy’s eyebrows draw down.

“I thought Amon already had a partner,” the little boy said, tilting his head to the side as he continued to study Kaneki. He stood up and padded his way over to the couch, climbing up onto the couch. “M… Ma…”

“Mado?” Kaneki asked, watching as the boy’s face lit up at the answer. Daichi nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! Mado,” he said with a grin that didn’t last for long. “How come you are? Is M… Mado sick?”

The half-ghoul shook his head, feeling his face heat up.“Um… n-no. I’m a-a different partner. I don’t work with him, I-I live with him.” He didn’t want to keep explaining but the boy looked like he was gearing up to ask more questions so he plunged on with his next best attempt. “Um, your mom and dad love each other very much and decided to live together, right? Th-That’s the same way with me and Amon. We decided to l-live together.”

Daichi seemed to accept that as an answer but he could only guess how many more questions he’d ask his parents when they got home. He just hoped the boy’s curiosity didn’t lead to questions from his parents. If the CCG started digging into Kaneki, they might find something a little too unusual.

Kaneki could only guess the color of his face by the look on Amon’s when the investigator returned. Thankfully, Kaiya got his attention before he could ask any questions. “Amon!” she said, standing up and holding her arms up.

Amon spared a final glance at Kaneki before picking the little girl up, balancing her on his hip. “Hey, what’d you want up for?” he asked, bouncing her gently. She giggled and spread her arms out, making airplane noises. The investigator took a step back from the couch to spin the little girl around the living room.

Kaneki couldn’t help but watch as his human spun the little girl around, making her shriek with laughter. He was struck with how much Amon fit here, with a child in his arms. The half-ghoul wondered if Amon wanted this. A family one day. To be a dad.

“Me next! Me next!” Daichi chanted, standing up on the couch and jumping in anticipation. Kaneki wondered how it would be to raise a baby with Amon. The late nights when the baby would wake them and the early mornings when they’d get up anyway, knowing the baby needed to be fed.

Amon took turns swinging them around the living room until the pizza arrived. The investigator left Kaneki with the other two and moved to the baby’s room to get Raiden. Kaneki ushered the kids to the table, fixing them something to drink, placing a glass of water where he intended to sit.

Daichi started in about how he could eat the whole pizza and that he was completely allowed to and Kaneki humored him, saying that he was probably the talk of his school. He got the two kids settled just as Amon reappeared with the baby.

“They’re still trying to wean him off the bottle but he gets one for dinner,” Amon said, settling down at the table. Kaneki knew the investigator wouldn’t be able to feed the baby and eat his dinner while it was warm and there was no else but him to hold the baby.

“Here, let me take him,” Kaneki offered, holding his hands out for the baby.

Amon looked up from positioning the bottle in the Raiden’s mouth, raising an eyebrow at the half-ghoul. “You want to take him?” he asked, flicking his gaze toward the kids who were too focused on their food to pay attention. He turned back toward Kaneki. “Are you sure?”

Kaneki nodded. “I’m sure. I’ve held babies before,” he said, stressing the word before to let him know that it was before he became half-ghoul. “I’ve done it before and you’re right here if something happens. Come on, you should eat.”

Amon hesitated a few seconds before standing up. “Alright, here.” He moved around the back of the half-ghoul’s chair and helped him settle the baby into his arms. “Support his head like this. And his back here, like this. Then kind of curve your arm around his side like this and hold the bottle. Right, like that.” He surveyed the boy’s hold on the child for a few seconds before moving back to his chair.

Kaiya pulled the pepperonis off her pizza and set them on the edge of Daishi’s plate who ate them whole, smacking his lips after each one. Amon glanced between the two of them with a smile, turning his gaze back to the half-ghoul.

It wasn’t long before the kids finished their food and the baby was done with his bottle. He started getting fussy after he was finished but Kaneki managed to bounce him and make him laugh to distract him. The other two dragged Amon into drawing pictures with them and Kaneki followed them to the living room, settling down on the couch with the baby.

The kids almost started fighting over the crayons but Amon intervened and prevented their disagreement from escalating. They each settled down after he spoke and soon enough, they were lost in their drawings again.

Yawns went around the living room, starting with the baby and ending with Amon, who looked even more worn out than the kids. Despite how much they pleaded to stay up for a few more minutes, Amon ushered them to bed with the promise of a bedtime story.

Kaneki moved the baby back to his bedroom while Amon helped the other two brush their teeth and get into their pajamas. The half-ghoul stood over the baby’s crib, watching the child’s eyes move across the ceiling like he could see something up there. He settled down fairly quickly and as soon as his eyes started to close, Kaneki left the bedroom, softly closing the door behind him.

Kaiya was already in bed and her door was closed and Amon was in Daichi’s bedroom. Kaneki leaned against the doorframe, watching as Amon tried to get the boy to settle down. It only took a few minutes for Daichi to give in and crawl under his covers, pulling them under his chin.

“What kind of story do you want me to read you?” Amon asked, scanning the boy’s bookshelf. Kaneki could think of a thousand different stories the investigator could tell the boy but still Amon browsed through the books on the shelf.

“I want to hear a story about you and daddy,” Daichi responded, rolling over in the bed to face Amon. “Tell me the one where you guys captured the ghoul.”

Kaneki watched Amon’s shoulders stiffen a little and he moved toward the little boy’s bed again, settling down on the edge. “Alright… um…”

Having no desire to hear the story, Kaneki moved from the doorframe and back out into the kitchen, gathering up the plates from the table to wash them. Their parents would be home shortly and he wanted to clean up the mess before they got home.

The water running as he rinsed each plate and cup helped distract him from whatever story Amon was telling the boy. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought it was going to be but he didn’t know what he was thinking when he agreed to come to a ghoul investigator’s house.

“Sorry about that,” Amon spoke from behind him suddenly. Kaneki rinsed the last plate before he acknowledged the investigator’s presence, turning around to give him a smile.

“It’s fine. I expected it, really,” he responded, turning back to dry the last plate. He stacked the three plates into the cabinet and drained the water in the sink, rinsing all of the suds out of the bottom of the sink. He turned back to Amon with a smile. “Wanna help me clean up the den?”

Amon nodded and followed the half-ghoul into the den. They gathered the crayons into the container and placed them back where the kids had gotten them from, stacking the coloring books and construction paper beside it.

Kaneki made another sweep around the den but there was nothing left out of place aside from their own coats. He sank down on the couch when Amon pulled him down and rested his head against the investigator’s chest.

“I’m sorry… I’m sure you can understand why Daichi is that way but he’s… he wants to become an investigator like his dad,” Amon said, wrapping his arm around the boy’s shoulders and running his fingers along his upper arm.

Kaneki shrugged, tracing circles on the front of Amon’s shirt. “It’s fine, really. I told you, I expected it.” If he were to be completely honest, he expected it to some degree but not so… intense. He continued to trace patterns on the investigator’s shirt until Amon shifted, making Kaneki let out a whine.

Amon laughed softly, shaking his head. “I just wanted to get this,” he said, showing a folded piece of paper he extracted from his pocket to the half-ghoul. “I didn’t get to show you what I’d drawn earlier. It’s for you.”

Kaneki took the paper from his human’s hand and unfolded it slowly, smiling at the depiction of him and Amon standing side by side. “That’s cute. I like the way you drew my hair.”

The investigator turned his head to kiss the half-ghoul’s forehead and Kaneki leaned into the touch. “It’s the picture of the only person I need in this world. I don’t care what anyone says about you, you’re more human than some people, Kaneki.” Kaneki felt a smile pull at his lips and he snuggled into Amon’s arms. “Thank you.” It didn’t matter what other people thought of him. As long as he had Amon at his side, Kaneki had the world.


	5. First Date With The Right One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon loves surprising Kaneki but this is something the half-ghoul didn't see coming

The wind blew silently through the streets as Kaneki stepped outside, following after the investigator. Amon had said there was a surprise waiting for him but didn’t say what, only to bundle up and come outside. At nearly midnight, there weren’t many people on the streets but that suited Kaneki just fine. The less people around, the less chance of anyone finding about him.

Kaneki slipped his hand into Amon’s, holding him through his glove and starting down the street with him. The walk was a bit icy and the boy slid once only to be caught by his human’s strong arms. He mumbled his thanks, his face flushing both from the cold and Amon’s nearness.

When they arrived at the end of their street, Amon directed his attention to a horse drawn carriage on the other side of the road. Kaneki stared at it for a few seconds before Amon’s words sunk in as they started for it. It was… for them? Where were they supposed to be going?

The half-ghoul wasn’t given the opportunity to ask before Amon lifted him up into the back of the carriage, climbing in after him. The investigator settled into the seat and Kaneki quickly cuddled up next to him, watching the driver take off down the road. Kaneki wanted to ask where they were going but he was fairly certain Amon would only tell him that it was a surprise and leave it at that.

Snow fell outside the carriage windows, completing the winter couple scene Kaneki felt he’d fallen into. This seemed so out of the ordinary and yet somehow perfect. Like Amon had chosen it specifically knowing that Kaneki would fall in love with it. He snuggled closer to his human, leaning up to kiss the underside of his jaw.

Amon linked their fingers together and turned to him, a smile tugging at his mouth. “Cold?” Kaneki nodded, watching as the investigator produced a blanket from underneath the seat that looked suspiciously like the one they’d been missing. Amon wrapped it around the boy’s shoulders. “I figured you might be so I had this stashed.”

“How long have you had this planned?” Kaneki asked quietly, glancing around the carriage, strung up with holiday lights on the inside. It looked like some sort of fairytale come to life but no storybook love Kaneki had ever read featured a human and his half-ghoul.

“A while,” was the investigator’s only response before he tugged the boy against his chest again. Kaneki didn’t resist, settling back against his human’s chest as his eyes started to drift closed. They’d taken walks in the early night before so he hadn’t thought anything of it when Amon suggested a midnight stroll. Obviously the investigator had other plans.

 

Kaneki came back to his surroundings as he realized Amon was shaking him. It took him a few seconds to remember why they were in the back of a carriage and by the time he did, Amon was lifting him up from the seat, helping him out of the back of it.

“I don’t suppose you’d tell me where we are now, would you?” Kaneki asked, sneaking a look at his human as soon as they were both on solid ground. The carriage didn’t pull away from the building they’d stopped at and the half-ghoul watched the driver for a second before focusing on the investigator.

“You’ll know soon enough,” Amon countered with, taking the boy’s hand in his again.

The walk into the building was only a few paces and as soon as Amon unlocked the glass doors, the smell hit Kaneki and he had a guess where they were. It was too far away to be Anteiku but… He stole a glance at the investigator. “Are we at a café?”

Amon nodded but it was all he would give away. His hand fell on the boy’s back and Kaneki found himself leaning in to the touch as they crossed through the unfamiliar café. The smell was the same at Anteiku but Kaneki doubted there were friendly ghouls waiting to provide meat for him. Not that he would agree to eat it anyway.

They rounded a corner and Kaneki got a look at what they were here for. A single table was lit up by holiday lights strung around the window closest to it and a pile of lights were around the foot of the table, a single lantern on top.

Kaneki sank down into the chair Amon directed him to and waited while the investigator settled down himself. The half-ghoul looked around the area but there wasn’t another person in sight. It seemed as though Amon had rented the place out on purpose. But… for what?

“Um… this is beautiful but… wh-what is this all for?” Kaneki asked, unsurprised by his voice shaking. He wasn’t normally taken to some strange place with no explanation why. He knew Amon would never put him in a position where he was in danger but he was still nervous.

“You once told me you wished there was a way you and I could go on dates without drawing attention to ourselves. I figured this was a good place to start,” Amon said, his eyes on the half-ghoul. “And I know after your last first date attempt… I kind of guessed you’d be a little skittish to the idea. W-Which is why it’s a surprise.”

Kaneki felt heat explode across his face and his eyes dropped to the table. “A-Amon, this is-“

A noise to his left interrupted his sentence and he turned toward it, fear climbing back into his throat. Amon’s hand on his helped ease the panic in him and he realized the investigator was talking to him. He turned back to Amon, shaking his head. “Um, what?”

His human’s hand in his own felt warm. “I should have told you, there’s a few servers here as well,” Amon explained, glancing up when someone approached their table.

A female server smiled and glanced between the two of them. “What can I get for you?” Her long black hair swung as she moved her head, her pen positioned over the pad of paper in her hand.

Kaneki’s face was quickly heating up again as Amon ordered a black coffee for the half-ghoul and a flavored coffee for himself. It’d been so long since he’d mentioned wanting a date with his human and the fact that Amon still remembered it was sweet. The half-ghoul thought he’d made a passing remark but apparently the investigator took it to heart. Found a way to make it work. For him.

The server disappeared back behind the kitchen again and Kaneki leaned across the table, gaining the attention of his human. The half-ghoul gently but forcefully pulled Amon into a kiss. He didn't know how he'd gotten so lucky with his human but he intended to stay with him for as long as Amon would have him. Forever and ever.


	6. Oh Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anything that Kaneki wants, Amon will do it for him. Even if it means getting the first Christmas tree the investigator has ever had

Amon wasn’t sure how he ended up here. Standing in the middle of a Christmas tree lot, searching for the perfect tree for the half-ghoul. He wasn’t sure what made a tree “perfect” but Kaneki did. Since it was their first Christmas together, Amon wanted to make sure it was a good holiday. Which put him standing in a cold tree lot, searching endlessly for a tree that would make Kaneki happy.

“Ken,” he called softly, signaling for him to come closer. Amon watched Kaneki’s head turn upward as he started toward the investigator. Their hands quickly found each other’s and their fingers linked together. Amon nodded toward a tree they were in front of. “What about this one?”

Kaneki tilted his head as he looked at the tree. His other hand came up to tap his chin. “It’s a little tall… are you sure we’ll be able to fit it in your apartment?”

Amon shrugged. “We can turn it sideways to get it in. Shouldn’t be a problem.” A smile was on the half-ghoul’s face when he turned back and Amon let out a breath. “What is it?”

“I didn’t mean through the door. I was talking about the ceilings of your apartment. Aren’t they kind of low?” Kaneki asked, leaning up to kiss Amon’s cheek. “I just don’t want to have to cut the top off once we get it inside.”

“We wouldn’t…” Amon trailed off, choking back the grumble. He didn’t want to be out in the cold but if it was for Kaneki, he’d do anything. “Fine, then we’ll find another one.”

The half-ghoul squeezed his hand, offering up a small smile. Amon knew there was no chance of resisting him so he kissed Kaneki’s cheek and urged him on through the tree lot. Their hands stayed intertwined as they searched the place for a tree, passing up ones that were too short, too tall, too thin or too wide.

Kaneki finally stopped them by one that was only slightly taller than Amon. “This one. It’s perfect.” The smile that was stretched across Kaneki’s face stopped the investigator from asking what made a tree perfect.

“Alright. We’ll get it delivered this evening. I’m not working so we’ll have time to decorate it the way you want,” Amon responded, taking the boy’s hand in his.

The walk back to their apartment after they paid for the tree was short and quiet as they tried to avoid anyone’s wandering eye. If anyone looked too closely, they might notice the edge of a bite mark peeking out from under Amon’s scarf.

They were up the stairs and into the main building before Amon spoke. “I got some meat from work last night.” He watched Kaneki out of the corner of his eye and kept him moving forward when he stiffened. “It’s not much but having at least a little something is better than nothing.”

The investigator moved his arm from around the boy long enough to unlock their apartment door and then he was back to holding him. “Come on.”

Kaneki moved away from him, unwinding the scarf around his neck. “Thanks. Maybe later,” he responded softly, moving further through the apartment.

Amon let out a sigh, watching the boy make his way back to their bedroom. “Kaneki you have to eat sometime. You can’t deny yourself food because you hate the thought of it.”

Never once in all his years of hunting ghouls and killing ghouls did Amon ever think he would end up encouraging one to eat. To feed on human flesh. But this was Kaneki and everything was different when he was involved.

Kaneki didn’t respond, just moved further down the hall and soon, Amon heard the sound of their bedroom door close. They’d had this conversation before with usually the same results. Kaneki would retire to their bedroom and Amon would have to wait him out. Eventually, he’d convince the half-ghoul of his worry and Kaneki would give in.

It was only a matter of time before the boy joined him again in the dining room and chose to have something to eat. The investigator prepared a pot of coffee for the inevitable moment, hoping it didn’t take too long for his half-ghoul to make an appearance. While he waited for the coffee to finish brewing, Amon opened a few case files he’d brought home with him to work over the weekend. There would always be moments like this. Where Kaneki locked himself away and wouldn’t let him in. Despite how much Amon wanted to be there for him, assure him that he wasn’t turning into a monster, he knew words alone would never convince the boy.

Just after the coffee pot finished, a knock sounded on the door. Amon looked up at the noise and moved his hand to his gun as he rose from the table. Alarm bells went off in the investigator’s head. He tried to come up with a reason why anyone from the CCG would be visiting him this late. Or maybe it was another ghoul. Either way, Amon’s trigger finger itched as he approached the door.

Knowing the half-ghoul was out of sight for the moment made it a little easier to open the door a bit. A man only a handful of years older than Kaneki stood in the hallway, staring down at a clipboard in his hands. When Amon cleared his throat, the man looked up and gave a smile. “We’re here to deliver your tree.”

Amon eased the door open a bit wider and glanced into the hallway, seeing a second person in the hallway. The investigator moved his hand from his gun and opened the door. “Of course, come in.”

The first one tucked his clipboard under his arm and turned around, picking up the tree by the base and walking backwards into the apartment. The two moved past the investigator and over into the living room before one of them called over their shoulder, “Where do you want it, sir?”

Amon followed after them and gestured to the general corner he and Kaneki had cleared early this morning in preparation. A tree stand Kaneki had insisted on getting at the beginning of the month stood in the corner, a bit of fresh water in the bottom. “If you could set it in the stand, that’d be great.”

The workers lifted the tree upright to place it in to the stand and adjusted it before one of them grabbed a few spare bits of twine leftover. “All done.” The two turned back to Amon, giving a smile. “Merry Christmas, sir!”

They exited the apartment, pulling the door shut behind them and Amon stood for a few seconds, staring at the tree. In all of his years in this place, there was only ever one tree in his apartment and that sat on the countertop. Something Mado brought by when he not-so-subtly scoped out the place shortly after the younger investigator moved in.

Amon shifted from the living room and moved down the hall, tapping his first two knuckles against the door of the bedroom he shared with Kaneki now. “Ken, they’ve delivered the tree.” If nothing else, the thought of getting to decorate would surely draw the half-ghoul from the room.

Silence followed the investigators sentence but only lasted for a few seconds before Kaneki’s soft voice called back, “I’ll be right out.”

Amon moved away from the door and back into the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee before moving back into the living room. He set the mugs on the coffee table and gathered the two boxes of ornaments Kaneki insisted on and moved them closer to the tree.

The investigator surveyed the tree again and only a few seconds ticked by before he heard the bedroom door open. Two heartbeats went by and Kaneki appeared in the living room. Amon turned to look at him before gesturing to the coffee table. “Made you some coffee.”

Kaneki nodded, a small smile pulling at his mouth. “Thank you.” He moved toward the tree and Amon stood from the couch to join him. The half-ghoul sorted through the box of ornaments, picking two strands of lights out of the bottom. “Can you start winding these around the tree? The wires shouldn’t cross at any point, okay?”

Amon took the lights from the boy and began winding them around the tree however he was directed, changing it if Kaneki said so. While he was adjusting the top, Kaneki stepped off to the side to grab his mug, standing back to watch. “It looks good, that should be fine. Next comes the ornaments.”

They worked together to attach the festive red and gold balls to several branches of the tree, taking care to space them out. When Kaneki declared that done, they moved on to a few other ornaments they’d picked out together and a few the half-ghoul surprised him with.

When the tree was completely decorated, Kaneki plugged the extension cord into the wall, making the whole thing light up. He stepped back to observe it and Amon wrapped his arms around the boy. Kaneki leaned into the touch and the investigator planted a kiss to the top of his head. “You do know how to decorate, I’ll give you that.”

He saw Kaneki smile though the silence seemed to stretch on forever. Something was stilted about this moment and Amon worried that Kaneki would move back to the bedroom and shut him out again. His worry dissolved after a few seconds when Kaneki turned his head to look up at him, fingers twitching nervously as he pulled the investigator down for a kiss.

“I-I think I’ll try a little bit of meat… i-if you want,” Kaneki whispered when they parted. Amon nodded and pulled the boy into another kiss before they moved back to the kitchen. Despite his hesitance at the idea, the tree really did add something to the room. Anything Kaneki touched in his apartment had a way of becoming brighter. Warmer. Alive. How could someone that did this to his life ever be a monster?


	7. Conversation Hearts Give The Best Commands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon brings home a box of candies and kissing ensues

Kaneki looked up from the television, hearing the door open. Amon wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour and he didn’t call to say he was coming home early. The half-ghoul quietly moved from the couch, slowly taking a small step forward. “Amon?” he called softly, hoping no one but the investigator answered him.

“Kaneki, sorry. My phone died halfway through the work day and I couldn’t get it to hold a charge,” Amon’s voice returned, setting the half-ghoul at ease. He heard rustling of bags as Amon moved to the kitchen and Kaneki followed the sound, leaning against the wall when his investigator was in sight again.

Amon looked up and smiled. “Hey, how was your day?” He set two plastic bags on the breakfast bar and turned toward the half-ghoul, reaching out to touch him when he was close enough. Kaneki loved this part of the day. Despite how often they spoke on the phone or sent a text message to each other, nothing compared to being able to touch each other.

Kaneki stepped into Amon’s arms, turning his cheek against the investigator’s chest. “Mm… better now,” he mumbled, running his hands up the investigator’s back to hold him closer. “I went to the bookstore after my shift at Anteiku. Came home about an hour ago.” He let out a small exhale, glad to be back in his human’s arms. “How was yours?”

Amon’s hands were gentle on his back as he caressed the half-ghoul. “Better now, too.” He pulled away just far enough to plant a kiss on the top of the boy’s head. Kaneki stayed in his human’s embrace for a few minutes before reluctantly pulling away.

“I’ll get started on dinner?” he suggested, already moving toward the stove. When Amon nodded, he took a case of pasta noodles from the pantry and filled a pot with water. He checked the pantry again before turning toward the hallway Amon disappeared down into. “Did you pick up soy sauce at the store?”

Kaneki looked toward the shopping bags still on the breakfast bar and opened one up, glancing around inside. Underneath a small box of candies, a bottle of soy sauce lay on its side and Kaneki took it from the bag, slowly peeling the plastic off the lid. He set it aside while the water continued to heat up, and returned to the shopping bags. He put away the few items Amon had picked up at the store, leaving the box of candies on the counter.

Amon didn’t typically buy sweets for himself and Kaneki couldn’t eat human food at all so that left him with no explanation for the candy. He added salt to the water and washed a bag of mixed vegetables while he waited for it start boiling. By the time he started putting the pasta into the water, the investigator had changed out of his work clothes and into something a bit more comfortable.

When he returned to the kitchen, Kaneki glanced toward him with a smile. “Hey, this’ll be done in a few minutes.” He added water to the pot of vegetables and set it on the burner behind the pasta. Amon came up behind him, his arms easily sliding around the half-ghoul’s chest.

“It smells good,” he said, nuzzling his nose against the boy’s hair, humming softly. The small vibration Kaneki could feel sent a shiver through him and he nudged Amon back a little.

“D-Do you mind? I’m trying to cook,” he mumbled, face quickly darkening as he added soy sauce to the pasta. He stirred the water a few times before nodding toward the box of candy. “Um, what’s that for?”

Amon glanced where the half-ghoul had looked and moved from behind him. “Nothing. I forgot I needed to make change for tomorrow so I had to buy something else to get cash back. That’s the first thing I grabbed.”

He picked the package up and glanced over the back before setting the box down again. “I’ll probably give them away or something. Neither one of us are going to eat them,” Amon said, passing by Kaneki to get the other spices needed to finish making dinner.

Kaneki stirred the noodles again before setting the spoon on the counter next to the stove. “Aren’t these the candy hearts that come out around Valentine’s Day?” he asked, picking up the box. He smiled at the cheesy hearts surrounding the cartoon couple.

“They’re similar, yeah,” Amon responded, setting the spice containers on the counter. He moved to the boy’s side and gently took the box from him. “I’ll tell you if they’re any good.” He tore open the packaging and put the first one out of the box into his mouth.

A few chews and a swallow later, he shrugged. “I don’t know if you remember them but they have the consistency of chalk. The flavors are pretty minimal too.”

“Everyone knows the best part is the message on the candy anyway,” Kaneki said, laughing slightly at the face Amon made. It was cheesy but that was the point. It was more about making each other laugh than actually enjoying the candy. “You should have another one. Tell me what it says,” the half-ghoul said. He moved to the pantry and took an apron off a hook, tying it around him before moving back to the stove.

A spice or two was added to the pasta water before Amon spoke. “True love, is what it says.” When Kaneki turned back toward him, the investigator had his eyes on him, trailing up his frame. Amon placed the candy in his mouth before holding the box out toward the half-ghoul. “Here, tell me what yours says.”

Kaneki paused stirring, letting the spoon rest across the top of the pot and blindly selected one from the box. He turned the heart around to read it and flushed at the phrase. “S-Soul mate.” He darted his gaze up to Amon before setting the heart on the counter. “Um, here.” He passed the box off again and returned to stirring while Amon took another candy.

“This one says be mine,” Amon said softly.

A few seconds passed by before the rattling of the box told him that Amon wanted him to take another one. He glanced toward the investigator, unable to keep a smile from crossing his face. “If I keep stopping, I’ll never get your food finished.”

“Fine, this’ll be the last one,” Amon responded, chewing through another heart while Kaneki took the box. He grabbed the first one his fingers touched and turned it to face him.

Kaneki’s face colored and he slowly set it on the counter before clearing his throat. “Um… k-kiss me… is what it says.” He hurriedly returned to stirring the pot, ignoring the investigator’s stare on him. The noodles finished their boiling cycle and the half-ghoul switched the burner off, glancing around for the pot-holders.

“Kiss you?” Amon asked, the tone of his voice darkening the blush on Kaneki’s face.

The half-ghoul turned back to him, shrugging a shoulder as he fought to keep the investigator’s gaze. “Y-Yeah… that’s what it said.” He took a pair of oven mitts from the drawer underneath the sink and laid them on the counter before setting the strainer in the sink, ready to drain the excess water from the pasta.

“And did it say where?” Amon asked, his hands suddenly on the boy’s hips. Kaneki faced him again, unable to breath correctly. The investigator tilted his head to the side with a smile. “Your lips?” he leaned in, pressing his lips to the half-ghoul’s. The kiss was gentle and slow before Amon carefully bit down on Kaneki’s bottom lip, making him melt.

“A-Amon-“

“What about here?” the investigator asked, moving to his jawline and kissing his way across. The feather light touch of Amon’s lips against his skin was driving Kaneki wild already. He wanted to tell the investigator to stop teasing him but he didn’t want the kisses to end along with it.

Amon pulled away, a slight smile on his face. “Or maybe it was your neck… surely… your neck,” he murmured, his lips finding a trail down the side of the boy’s neck and moving to his collarbones. Kaneki could only whimper and clutch at the investigator’s shirt, knowing he didn’t want this to stop anytime soon.

"Th-The pasta’s going to get cold,” he managed to say, letting out a long breath. Amon’s lips continued to move across his collarbones and Kaneki could barely find the strength to continue resisting. He felt the investigator lift him by the hips and he was soon resting on the counter. A whine left his lips and he reluctantly pulled away. “A-Amon… the pasta…”

Amon exhaled, returning to Kaneki’s lips for a final kiss before setting him back on the floor. “Fine. But after this is finished… I’d like to continue this.”

Kaneki knew that Amon was serious - that after the meal was over, there would be no escaping the investigator's attempts to tease him. But… he was fine with it. Letting Amon figure out exactly where the heart wanted him to kiss the half-ghoul.


	8. Don't Do Any Falling Unless It's For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon's never skated before and Kaneki loves to. The half-ghoul insists that Amon at least gives it a chance and for some reason, the investigator gives in

“It’s not that difficult, just trust me,” Kaneki urged, trying to convince the investigator to move away from the railing. It hadn’t been that easy to convince Amon to get on the ice and now that he finally was, he wouldn’t release his hold on the railing. The half-ghoul hadn’t made any progress with him in the last few minutes but the night wasn’t over yet. “Come on, I’ll teach you.”

Amon glared up from where his hands were still locked tight around the railing and shook his head. Kaneki figured there would be some resistance but this was ridiculous. A few couples had already looked their way wondering why Amon wasn’t joining Kaneki.

The half-ghoul pouted, skating over to the investigator. “Come on, if you don’t skate with me everyone here will wonder why.”

“Well, if anyone asks, you can feel free to tell them the truth. I’m sure it won’t be the first time they watched someone leave the rink because they _can’t_ do this,” Amon responded. The stress he put on the word ‘can’t’ wasn’t lost on Kaneki but the boy shook his head.

“No, you can. You’ve just got to try. I’ll show you, come on.” Kaneki tugged on Amon’s grip but the investigator held onto the railing. He knew it wasn’t fair but Kankei used his extra strength to pull the human away from the railing.

Amon flailed for a second and Kaneki caught him, eye level with his chest as he supported the investigator. “Hey, relax, I’ve got you,” the half-ghoul said, helping him to stay upright. “It’s okay, you can do this.”

“You cheated,” Amon hissed, his lips brushing along the top of Kaneki’s ear. The half-ghoul felt the blush explode across his cheeks and he shook his head in an attempt to clear it.

Kaneki linked their fingers together and led the investigator away from the wall, skating backwards to keep an eye on the investigator. Amon kept his other hand around the boy’s wrist, struggling to stay upright. The half-ghoul had to smile at what the image must look like. A tall, strong man clinging to his skinny frame to stay on his feet.

Amon looked up, catching the smile on Kaneki’s face, eyes narrowing almost instantly. “What? What’s so funny?”

Laughter bubbled up from the half-ghoul, drawing the attention of a few other people on the rink. “I-I’m…s-sorry…” Kaneki managed to say between laughs he was attempting to quiet. “You’re just so… it’s so weird to see you like this. So unsure of yourself.”

“I’m on ice, what do you expect, Kaneki?” the investigator responded, the humor of the situation lost on him. He kept staring down at his feet and Kaneki knew he’d never get it if he was focusing on the ground.

“Relax, I promise, I’m not going to let you fall,” he said, reaching forward to turn the investigator’s attention on him again. “Eyes up here, okay?” His fingers ran along the investigator’s jawline, hoping to keep his focus for a few seconds.

When Amon didn’t shift his gaze, Kaneki continued on. “So, don’t look down but straighten your ankles.” Kaneki glanced down at the man’s feet for a second before looking back up to him. “I’ll tell you when they’re straight, okay?” The investigator grumbled softly but did what he was told and Kaneki watched until he deemed them straight.

“Okay, stop leaning forward,” Kaneki instructed, catching him when Amon nearly pitched forward again. “Whoa, okay I’ve got you. Just stand straight.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Amon grumbled in response, making another attempt at standing the way the half-ghoul was telling him to do. He nearly lost his balance again but Kaneki kept a tight hold on him, keeping him in place.

“Don’t worry. If you start to fall, I’ll catch you,” Kaneki said, trying to assure the investigator but all it earned him was a glare. He let out a small breath, trying to come up with some way to convince him. “Do you remember when I taught you how to dance the waltz? You weren’t sure that you could but you kept up just fine.”

“I wasn’t on skates when you taught me the waltz,” Amon countered, clinging to the half-ghoul when he almost fell over again. “Kaneki, this is entirely different. I can’t do this.”

Kaneki let out a small sigh, gesturing toward the bleachers. “If you want me to, I’ll lead you back over there and you can sit out for a while.” He was right. Dancing was completely different from skating and honestly, he was surprised the investigator hadn’t hurt himself already.

Amon held his gaze, still unsteady on his feet. He seemed to be hesitating but Kaneki skated backwards, turning them back toward the bleachers. “It’s fine. We can try again another day if you feel like it.”

“No,” his human responded, pulling Kaneki closer with a sigh. Two couples skated past them and Kaneki guided Amon out of their way. “I’ll try, just don’t let me fall.”

Kaneki smiled. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I won’t let you fall,” he promised, skating backwards again. “Just put one foot in front of the other, like you’re walking.”

“I don’t know anyone who walks like this, Ken,” Amon said, giving Kaneki a look when the boy laughed. “I’m serious. How are you good at this?”

Amon slipped and pitched forward again, only to be caught by Kaneki. The boy’s skates slipped out from underneath him and they both went tumbling down. The half-ghoul slammed into the ice, a little harder than he anticipated. He heard the investigator groan and reached a hand out toward him. A young woman skating by with her daughter stopped in front of the two, holding onto the little girl’s hands. “Oh dear,” the woman said, surveying the two before holding her other hand out toward the both of them. “Here, let me help you.”

“Thank you,” Kaneki said, taking her hand as he stood, turning back to take help his human up. The woman watched the two for a few seconds before smiling at them both and skating off with her daughter. Kaneki’s eyes followed them until they moved behind his human.

He held Amon’s gaze, swallowing hard. “S-Sorry…”

The investigator took both of the boy’s hands in his own, skating forward until they hit the edge of the rink. Kaneki felt his back press against the glass and his face colored as the couples skating by them looked their way. “A-Amon… wh-what are you doing?”

“Embarrassing you,” the investigator’s reply was short and to the point as he leaned forward, teasing Kaneki by getting close enough to kiss him but not actually touching his lips. When Kaneki tried to meet his lips, Amon pulled away, further coloring the half-ghoul’s face.

“W-Well, wh-why are you embarrassing me?” Kaneki asked, feeling the heat on his face.

Amon pulled away with a smile, tilting his head to one side like the answer should be obvious. “You said you wouldn’t let me fall.”

“ _Amooon_!” Kaneki whined, knowing it was futile. No matter how close he got, Amon would move just out of reach of the kiss the half-ghoul so desperately wanted. He tried a fourth time before using his ghoul strength to his advantage and dragging the investigator down for a kiss.

The investigator let out a breath, his eyes opening and locking gazes with the half-ghoul. “You cheated again,” he mumbled, the pink in his cheeks making it obvious that he didn’t care one way or another.

“Y-You cheated first,” Kaneki mumbled, reaching up to run his fingers through his human’s hair as they held gazes. His face flushed at the thought of it but the suggestion was on the tip of his tongue. It’d been so long since they’d been together. “W-What do you say we pick this lesson up another day? A-And return home for now?”

Amon’s lips curled into a smirk and he closed the distance between them, his lips brushing along the top of the boy’s ear, making him shiver and flush even darker both with the contact and the words he spoke for no one but him to hear. “That sounds like a plan but… I can’t promise that you won’t fall for me.”


	9. I'll Protect You And You'll Protect Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon and Kaneki go to the best place around the holidays - the parks holiday light show
> 
> Based on a real place where I live, it's so beautiful.

Hot drink in hand, arm in arm, Amon and Kaneki continued down the path only lit up by twinkling Christmas lights and flashlights of the younger children.

The snow had blanketed the ground again just this morning but the workers at this park had cleared the snow by the time darkness fell. Other than a few patches of ice, the ground wasn’t at all slippery the way Kaneki had thought it might be.

The best part about this light festival wasn’t the scenery or the chilly walk down the path. It was the ability to walk freely with Amon, cuddled as close as they possibly could get, and not worrying about anyone recognizing the investigator. The darkness hid the both of them and when they were closer to the lights, they blended in with every other couple walking the path.

Amon steered the two of them into a well-lit area where the gift shop and café resided, along with this year’s art winners. Food vendors were spaced far enough apart that walking from one to the next didn’t involve fighting the crowd.

They passed vendor after vendor before stopping at the art gallery to see this year’s collection. Though they’d both been to this festival before, this was the first year they’d gone together. It was something they’d both been looking forward to for weeks. Kaneki hoped they were able to do it again next year.

Amon pointed to a painting depicting a jolly Santa Claus, passing out gifts to children. Kaneki turned the investigator’s attention to one of butterflies fleeing a cage. Several paintings of trees adorned with lights hung next to the butterfly picture, each frame housing a bigger tree than the last.

Kaneki shivered in the cold, turning to smile at Amon. His human responded by sliding their hands into his oversized coat pocket, keeping the boy’s hand warm and coloring his face in the process. “T-Thank you,” he stammered, half from the cold and the other half from embarrassment.

Amon squeezed his hand before continuing on down the row of pictures, headed back out onto the path. Just as they’d stepped past a street light over the paintings, a noise sounded from behind them, alerting the pair to someone else’s presence.

“Amon? Is that you?” a voice called from behind them. Kaneki slid his hand out of the investigator’s pocket, recognizing the voice immediately.

Mado, Amon’s partner at the CCG, was coming up behind them, looking between Kaneki and Amon like he was mentally trying to sort out their relationship. Kaneki felt a shiver run through him that had nothing to do with the cold this time. They’d done their best to never be seen together when anyone from the CCG was around. If it was discovered he was a ghoul, Amon would be connected to him and Mado would never let something like that slide.

“Ahh… Mado, how are you?” Amon greeted as his partner neared them, reaching out to take his hand when they were close enough. To anyone else watching, it was an average greeting between two coworkers. But Kaneki picked up on the tension in Amon’s arm as he shook his partner’s hand.

“I’m well. Just out for a bit of fresh air. What… What are you doing here?” Mado asked, his eyes straying to Kaneki, who was trying his hardest not to wilt under the stare. He wasn’t afraid of Mado. Only of what he would connect Amon to if Kaneki’s nature was revealed.

“Same as you,” the younger investigator responded, a slight edge to his tone. He stepped closer to Kaneki, drawing Mado’s attention back to him. “Fresh air’s nice after working long hours.”

Mado’s gaze rested on Amon for a few seconds, like he was trying to see through whatever was being cloaked. “Yes, yes it is,” he responded when the silence stretched on for too long between them. He darted his gaze back toward Kaneki, nodding in the boy’s direction. “Might I ask who your company is for the evening?”

Kaneki felt his human’s arm slide around his waist and he cleared his throat. “K-Kaneki, sir,” he stammered, another shiver running through him as Mado pinned him with his stare. The half-ghoul was flustered often but he didn’t like the way this ghoul investigator made him feel. Like he was some sort of specimen under his watchful eye and he was just waiting for him to mess up. Sometimes Kaneki thought he looked at Amon that way too.

“Pleased to meet you, Kaneki” Mado responded, holding his hand out to the boy in question who reluctantly took it. Mado looked between the two again before focusing his attention on Amon. “So, how did the two of you meet?”

The tone of his voice and direct wording of his question made it known that he realized they were on date. Kaneki glanced Amon’s way, wondering if he was planning on lying to his partner about the nature of their relationship.

Amon shook his head, his arm tightening around Kaneki. “Nowhere special. We took the same train several mornings in a row.”

Kaneki flicked his gaze from Amon’s to Mado’s, forcing a smile when the latter’s stare turned to him. He nodded, glancing at Amon with a real smile. “Y-Yeah. I accidentally ran into him and he helped pick up all my stuff. After that, we just got to talking.”

Mado didn’t seem convinced but it was the only thing Kaneki could think of. His knees were shaking already and if he had to speak anymore, he might stutter over everything. He could always fake it from the cold but he didn’t know if Mado would believe him.

“Huh… you’ve never mentioned him before,” Mado responded, looking back toward Amon.

The younger investigator shrugged, the tension in his muscles obvious to Kaneki but Mado didn’t seem to pick up on it. “There was never a time to. I wasn’t sure how far this thing would go and I didn’t want to risk jinxing it by telling anyone.” He glanced around the park before nodding to his partner. “We still have a lot of the park left to see. Have a good walk, I’ll see you on Monday.”

He turned before Mado could say anything else, leading Kaneki down the path, plunging them both into darkness only broken by the trail lights dotting the path every few feet.

Kaneki leaned into Amon’s arms like always but didn’t let himself relax, knowing that the investigator was behind them. He may not be following them but that knowledge didn’t stop the hair from standing up on the back of the half-ghoul’s neck.

“It’s alright. I’ll handle it on Monday,” Amon murmured, turning his head to kiss Kaneki’s forehead. The boy let out a breath at the feeling, almost melting in his human’s arms. He was right. They would be fine. If the CCG came after him, Amon would protect him. And if any person, ghoul or otherwise, hurt his human, Kaneki would fight forever to keep Amon safe.

“Yeah,” he responded, leaning up to give Amon a kiss, letting the warmth wash through him for a few seconds before they parted. “We’ll be alright.”


	10. Recipe For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amon can't cook and Kaneki has always taken pity on him in the past, he can't resist doing so again this time

“It doesn’t say anything about adding flour,” Kaneki said, looking up from the recipe in hand.

The unnecessary flour and necessary peanut butter dotted his investigator’s face, making his frown even more humorous. Kaneki bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling and set the book down on the counter, taking a step closer to Amon. “Why don’t we start all over? We have enough ingredients to do it all from scratch again.”

“I don’t know why I have to go to some office party. It’s not like this is some sort of tradition or anything,” Amon grumbled, moving to the sink to wash his face.

Kaneki moved around the investigator, setting a plate on the counter and putting the mixing bowl in the sink. “You’re going because Mado specifically asked you to be there. You’re normally wherever he asks you to be and if you skip out, he’ll wonder why.” Kaneki tried to deny it when he noticed his hands were shaking but it wasn’t easy. They both lived in fear of the day that the CCG discovered Amon was harboring a ghoul.

“It’s possible that he just invited me to a holiday party and there’s nothing more to it,” the investigator responded.

Kaneki spread parchment paper across the plate and turned back to Amon. “Maybe it is,” he mumbled, stepping past him to put the flour back in one of the cabinets. He stretched to reach the cabinet, just barely out of reach of the shelf. When strong hands lifted him by the hips, a flush crept across his cheeks, staining them with pink. He couldn’t admit how much he loved it when Amon helped him up rather than getting it for him.

As soon as his feet were back on the ground, jar of peanut butter in hands, he glanced at Amon with a small smile. “Thank you.” He hesitated a few seconds before standing up on tiptoe to kiss the investigator. Their lips met and he relaxed into the kiss, one hand touching the side of Amon’s face before they parted.

“Um, these should only take a few minutes if we do it right,” Kaneki mumbled, turning his back to Amon. “Then we have to leave them in the fridge overnight.”

The way the investigator could fluster him wasn’t anything new to either one of them but Kaneki wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the way his face would heat up at the mere look in Amon’s eyes at times. Kaneki did his best to ignore the flush, knowing full well that Amon loved the color on him and would do just about anything to see it more.

Kaneki was sure Amon was some kind of mind reader when the investigator moved behind him again. Amon’s fingers trailed down the boy’s spine as he stepped closer to him. “If this were an ordinary party… I’d love to have you my date.”

The heat renewed across his face and Kaneki wasn’t able to hold back the smile. The thought of being by Amon’s side as they walked through the streets was something he longed for. They both knew the risk it would put them at so neither one acted on it. He turned to face his human and he was pulled into a slow kiss. His eyes fell closed and he threaded his fingers through Amon’s hair.

Amon picked him up by the hips again but this time, he set the boy on the counter. The kisses weren’t broken until Amon pulled away to kiss a trail down the side of Kaneki’s neck. The half-ghoul let out a strangled whimper, unable to stop the way Amon was making him feel.

They’d only been intimate a handful of times and each time was precious to him. Kaneki didn’t trust himself not to lose it while they were together, afraid he might hurt the fragile human. When they made love, it was usually late at night in their shared bed. Not in the kitchen on the counter.

“Ahh… Amon…” Kaneki mumbled.

The investigator gave him a final few kisses along his collarbones before ending the heat between them. “We should probably get these finished if I’m supposed to make it to the holiday party tomorrow,” he said, leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss to Kaneki’s forehead.

“Y-Yeah,” the half-ghoul responded, sliding off the counter with help from Amon. Once he was standing again, he worked alongside Amon to get the ingredients together in time. They made the small batch of peanut butter fudge cookies in less than ten minutes, a kiss shared after the process was finished.

Kaneki cleared the counters as Amon moved the dish of cookies to the fridge to help them set. When everything was back where it was supposed to be, Kaneki caught the sleeve of his human’s jacket, holding on to him as he leaned in for another kiss.

“Just so you know… if this was an ordinary party, I’d gladly stand by your side as your date,” he whispered against Amon’s lips. He’d never imagined he’d ever get close with someone from the CCG and yet here he was. Unable to imagine a life without the only light in his world.


	11. Love Me Like A Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki reads a book and his mind wanders while he's waiting for Amon to come home. A love letter seems insane but maybe the investigator will like it...?

Kaneki had already finished his shift at Anteiku and had been to the bookstore and library before he returned to the apartment. He’d taken care of the shopping earlier in the week so he had all the ingredients for dinner.

With no Amon around to distract him, he settled onto the couch, immediately pulled into one of the books he’d picked up while out. It was another romance story but it was set in the backdrop of the 1900’s which was different from what the half-ghoul normally found when he browsed the stacks.

The first fifty pages talked about the ongoing war and how the general’s son was falling in love with the enemy general’s daughter. They were careful about where they went and how often, sneaking out almost completely undetected.

At page one fifty, they were almost discovered and the boy wrote a letter to the girl, telling her everything he felt. He wanted her to know that the things he felt weren’t a lie. That he was completely in love with her and nothing could sway him from the girl.

The chapter ended and Kaneki placed a bookmark at the start of the next, moving from the couch to start dinner. Amon would be home in a little under an hour and Kaneki liked to have dinner finished by the time his human came through the door. That way, they could spend as much time as possible together.

Kaneki placed a pot on the front burner with a bit of water in the bottom and turned the temperature up to medium. He stepped back to let it simmer and carried a chair over to the pantry. He stood in the chair to get the nori from the pantry and placed it on the counter next to the stove.

After replacing the chair at the kitchen table, Kaneki moved to the fridge and took out a package of green onions and miso. He set about washing and chopping the onions but his mind kept returning to the idea of a love letter. He’d never entertained the idea of one before but due to the book, he couldn’t get the idea of writing Amon one out of his mind.

They saw each other every day, it was ridiculous. He didn’t need to write Amon a letter to tell the investigator how he felt. And yet…

Kaneki set the knife down and quickly moved through the apartment to their bedroom. He took a notebook from the closet and returned to the kitchen, pen and blank sheets in hand. If his mind wouldn’t let him rest, he might as well jot down a few lines in between cooking.

The water had begun to simmer when Kaneki returned and he placed the nori into the pot, watching as it floated around the gently swaying liquid. He moved back to the onions and caught a look at the blank page. He paused chopping and wiped his hands on his apron, taking a small step closer to the notebook. With a shaky hand, he picked up the pen and pressed the tip to the first line.

_Amon,_ he began, feeling his face heat at the mere mention of his human. _I don’t know why I’m writing this now… It’s just, I’ve been reading and there was a love letter written. I started thinking about writing you one and I can’t seem to get my mind off of it. I want you to know how I feel for you and this seems the best way to do it, too._

Kaneki scribbled down the few lines, pushing past his embarrassment, before returning to the onions. As soon as they were chopped into small bits, he took the miso paste and put a few tablespoons into a glass bowl, whisking some hot water into it before adding it to the pan on the stove. He stirred the miso into the water, gently nudging the nori around with the spoon.

Once it was fully stirred in, he turned back to the notebook and wrote a few more lines, trying to capture exactly what Amon meant to him. There weren’t enough words in any language to describe how much the half-ghoul loved him but… at least this was a start.

When his hand started to cramp and he remembered the soup still on the stove, he turned back toward it, dumping the onions into the pot along with cubes of tofu. Kaneki covered the mixture with a lid and turned the burner up, leaving it to return to his love letter. He wrote out the last few sentences he could think of before calling it finished and signing his name.

His face heated up as he wondered if he actually had the courage to give the letter to the investigator or if he would throw it away. It seemed a waste to trash what he’d written but he couldn’t imagine handing this over to Amon. What would his human think?

The soup finished and Kaneki turned back to it, setting it off the stove and on top of a potholder on the counter. With nothing left to do but wait the additional few minutes for Amon to return, Kaneki moved to their bedroom again, putting the contents of his book bag away.

What he’d paid for at the bookstore, he placed on a bookshelf that was nearly overflowing and the library books went as a stack on top of the nightstand on Amon’s side of the bed. Though Kaneki read by himself daily, he enjoyed the evening’s where the investigator selected a book from the ever growing stack and read it aloud. Often times, Kaneki would fall asleep on Amon’s chest before the first chapter was even finished.

He heard the sound of the front door opening and smiled, looking up from the stack of books. Amon was quiet in the apartment and Kaneki straightened the books before moving around the bed and out the door.

“Kaneki?” the investigator called and Kaneki’s smile widened.

“I’m here. I was just in the bedroom,” the half-ghoul responded, moving through the apartment again. Every day, he waited until the investigator was home and they could hold each other again. “Dinners finished, I made miso soup,” Kaneki greeted as he came into the kitchen. “How was work?”

When Amon didn’t respond, the half-ghoul’s gaze trailed down where his human was looking and he realized with a start that he’d left the letter face up on the counter. “No, don’t read that!” he said, quickly moving to cover the page with his hands. He turned the notebook over, feeling the heat crawl across his face as Amon’s soft chuckle reached his ears.

“I’m sorry… it had my name on it. I assumed it was for me,” he said, the step he took toward the boy not unnoticed. “Were you not finished?”

Kaneki’s face colored darker and he let out a groan. “I-It wasn’t for you to read… yet… I don’t know,” he mumbled, turning away from the investigator. Everything he’d been thinking of was suddenly before the investigator and he didn’t know what Amon thought of it. Of how he truly felt about their relationship.

“Am I really… the best thing that ever happened to you?” Amon asked softly, bringing the rising heat to an all-time high on Kaneki’s face. His hands were gentle on the half-ghoul’s skin as he brought the boy’s attention back to him. “It’s okay, you don’t have to be embarrassed.”

“Well… y-yes you are,” he mumbled, darting his gaze around before meeting his human’s again with a small shrug. “Um… th-the soup’s going to get cold.”

Amon pulled him in for a gentle kiss. When they parted, he left to change his clothes and Kaneki put a serving of soup into a bowl and set it on the table along with a glass of water. While the investigator was still out of the room, the half-ghoul set the coffee pot and turned it on before moving to the table, sitting in the chair across from where he’d placed Amon’s food.

“I think what you wrote was beautiful, Kaneki,” Amon said as he came into the dining area, pulling his chair out before flicking his gaze up to the half-ghoul’s. “I mean it. It was kind of nice to come home to.” Kaneki rubbed the back of his neck, trying to keep the blush from coloring his face anymore. “Well… you’re welcome then.” It wasn’t the way he wanted to present the letter to the investigator but at least it had the desired effect. Even if he’d read it before the half-ghoul was ready.

Amon made several compliments to Kaneki about dinner and when he was finished, the leftover soup was placed into a container and put in the fridge. It would be lunch for the next few days and all of Amon’s coworkers were jealous when he brought food from home. It was how they discovered he was dating someone to begin with.

Once the dishes were cleaned and put away, Amon set his laptop at the table to send a few emails and Kaneki browsed the television for something to watch. He settled on a cooking show and spent the next hour jotting down recipes to try in the next few weeks. As soon as Amon was finished, he joined the half-ghoul on the couch, snuggling against him while they channel surfed together. A movie was just starting on one of the channels and they settled into each other for the duration.

It was a typical ‘family unknowingly moves into a haunted house’ scenario but Kaneki used it as an excuse to hide his face in Amon’s chest even though the scary parts were more cheesy than frightening. The investigator seemed to enjoy the scary parts the best, cuddling Kaneki closer to his chest during them.

When the movie ended, Kaneki went into the bedroom while Amon double checked all the locks. It became ritual for them after one too many nightmares of their apartment being broken into. There were too many times when one of them would get up in the early hours of the morning to check the locks and search the apartment for anyone that it just became ritual to check.

Kaneki changed into his pajamas and selected a book from the stack before crawling into bed. He hoped Amon was feeling up to reading tonight because this one looked especially interesting.

Amon returned from locking the door and checking the windows and got into the bed, kissing Kaneki on the forehead before he noticed the book in his hands. “That looks interesting. Is that for you or for me to read?”

“I was hoping you would read it aloud,” Kaneki said, pulling the covers around him before holding the book out toward Amon. The investigator took it from him and glanced over the back cover, shrugging a shoulder.

“We can if you want to… but I thought we could read something else tonight,” Amon said, placing the book on top of the stack again. He hesitated a few seconds before turning back to Kaneki, a folded piece of paper in his hand. “You seemed upset that I read your letter without permission so… I-I thought you might like to read one from me in return. I wrote it while you were watching television.”

Kaneki’s heart jumped into his throat at the suggestion and he couldn’t stop the smile from crossing his face. He nodded, scooting closer to Amon. “I like the sound of that… can you read it to me?”

The investigator’s face flushed but he nodded, slowly unfolding the paper. He glanced at Kaneki for a few seconds before directing his gaze onto the paper. “Just so you know, it’s not long and it’s probably pretty rough. So just… keep that in mind.”

Amon cleared his throat and straightened the paper before he began reading. “ _Kaneki, I don’t know why it embarrassed you when I read your letter. Your words should be shared more often, what you had to say to me was beautiful. I can’t think of another way to say it_.” The investigator paused for a few seconds before letting out a breath. “ _Only you know the true depths of my love because you know my job is directly against your existence. If it ever came to you or the job, it’d be you. Always you_.”

Kaneki felt tears in his eyes at the investigator’s words. The sincerity of his voice only made it harder to hold in his responses. He didn’t want to interrupt Amon in the middle of the letter but he wanted to kiss him. Hug him. Let him know how much he really was loved.

“ _I don’t know how different my life would be without you and I don’t want to know. I love coming home to you. I love when you fall asleep on my chest and I don’t want to move because waking you is the last thing I want to do and the only thing I want more. When you’re awake, you kiss me and when you’re sleeping, I know you’re dreaming peacefully. I love waking up to you and falling asleep to you and getting to be the only one who gets to kiss you. I love-_ “

Kaneki cut the investigator off by pulling him into a hug. Their lips quickly found each other’s and the half-ghoul moved his body against Amon’s, both prepared to spell out a love letter that didn’t require any words.


	12. By Your Side Through Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...even if that 'thing' is an office party where tons of your coworkers could kill me

Kaneki had just finished preparing dinner when the door opened. He turned the burner off and moved the pot onto a holder. “I’m in the kitchen, Amon,” he called out to the investigator, turning his head just far enough to speak.

Silence met him and for a few seconds, Kaneki wondered if he’d been heard. Amon usually didn’t take this long to respond but his trudging footsteps let the half-ghoul know that he was still inside the apartment.

A few more seconds went by before Amon appeared in the kitchen, looking ten times more exhausted than when he left. Kaneki’s heart leapt into his throat at the thought of Amon on some ghoul hunt. “Amon?” Kaneki asked, placing a hand over the investigator’s chest, the beat of his heart helping to ease a bit of the worry. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at work?”

Amon shook his head, sliding his arms around the half-ghoul’s waist. “No, not exactly.” His touch was gentle and the worry slowly eased from the boy.

Kaneki glanced back at the stove before focusing on the investigator. “Dinner’s finished… we can talk about whatever’s going on while you eat, if you want.” He waited until his human nodded before moving from his arms, getting the empty bowl from the counter. “I made beef stir fry today. The recipe came highly recommended so you’ll have to tell me if you like it.”

He placed the bowl on the table while Amon got himself something to drink, both sitting down when they were finished. Kaneki took the investigator’s hand while he stirred the food in his bowl with a spoon. He moved slowly, like he was trying to decide how to say what he had to and the half-ghoul felt fear creep into his gut. Had they made a possible ghoul connection to Amon?

“Amon… what is it?” he asked, unable to shake the fear.

The investigator let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. “It’s nothing bad. I’m just worried how it’s going to turn out.” He lifted a small spoonful to his mouth and took a bite. He commented how the stir fry was excellent and ate a few more bites before turning his gaze up to Kaneki’s. “There’s another office party tomorrow. And they’re insisting that I bring you.”

“Oh…” Kaneki said, unsure of what else there was to say. There wasn’t any reason for him not to go to this party, aside from the obvious. “You can tell them I’m sick but I send my best.”

“That’s what I said last time,” Amon responded, setting his spoon into the bowl. Kaneki watched it slide down further in the food, listening to the soft hum of the fridge. “I… would actually love to take you with me… it’s just _where_ the party is.”

The half-ghoul turned his gaze up to Amon, forcing a smile. As much as he wanted to be at the investigator’s side, going to the CCG wasn’t exactly keeping a low-profile. “I would love to come with you, but I understand. I’ll help you come up with an acceptable lie.”

He’d love to be by Amon’s side but the investigator was right. It was too much of a risk. Kaneki would never do anything to point suspicion toward his human. “What if you tell them I’m visiting family? If I’m out of town, I can’t physically be at the party.”

“That might work… then again…” Amon let out a sigh and finished off the last of his stir-fry, pushing the bowl toward the center of the table. “Kaneki, I’ve been thinking.”

The half-ghoul hadn’t heard that phrase used in a good way for a long time and he braced himself for impact. Whatever Amon was thinking of, Kaneki would find a way to deal with it. He just silently hoped that it wasn’t goodbye. He didn’t think he could ever prepare himself for that.

“If I keep hiding you away, the suspicion is going to increase. I can only keep coming up with excuses for so long. They don’t even believe that my reason is not wanting to ruin our relationship anymore,” the investigator stood from the table and took his bowl to the sink, setting it down inside before speaking. “I’m thinking this might be the perfect place for me to introduce you to my coworkers. It’ll still be at the CCG but in a less professional setting.”

Kaneki turned in his chair to watch Amon, standing up when the investigator stayed rooted at the sink. He crossed over to his human, pulling him into a hug. “I told you. I would love to be your date but I understand the risk. If you don’t think it’s a good idea, I won’t go. And if you think it is, I’ll be by your side the whole party.”

Amon’s arms slid around Kaneki’s back and the half-ghoul leaned into the touch, humming softly. He knew the party would be difficult with all of the investigator’s coworkers wanting to have a look at the one Amon had hid away until now but if it helped keep suspicion off his human, he would do anything. And… finally being known as Amon’s partner was an added bonus.

 

The following day, they were both dressed and out the door by six, planning to arrive a little past the start time. Amon was worried about being the first one’s there and stuck in conversation with some of his nosier coworkers.

No one immediately looked their way when they walked in but within a few minutes, all eyes turned to them. Some of them wandered a little closer but only Juuzou approached them, stepping under a badly strung strand of holiday lights. “Hey, Amon,” he greeted the investigator before his eyes turned to the one by his side. “You must be…”

“Um, Kaneki,” the half-ghoul filled in, taking Amon’s hand when he felt the investigator bump his. “I-It’s nice to meet you.”

“Same to you. I’m Juuzou,” he said with a smile, glancing between the two of them. “So you’re Amon’s… date then? That’s right, isn’t it?”

Kaneki nodded and Amon gently squeezed his hand for support before turning to the other investigator. “You’re dateless tonight?” he asked, glancing around the party. “And where’s Shinohara?”

“No idea,” Juuzou said with a laugh, bringing his drink up to his lips. “He said he’d be here though so he’ll probably show up ten minutes before it’s over. Spend as little time here as possible.”

Amon mumbled something along the lines of ‘I wish I thought of that’ before telling Juuzou he’d see him later. He held the half-ghoul’s hand in his own and wandered further into the party, looking around until he came across the food table. “Here, have something to drink,” Amon said, selecting a bottle of water for him.

Kaneki waited while Amon untwisted the cap for him before taking it. “Thank you,” he softly said, glancing around the party while the investigator got himself a small serving of eggnog. “So Juuzou’s a little…”

“Obnoxious,” Amon filled in, nodding. He traced his finger along the rim of the cup before he looked up at Kaneki with a nod. “Yeah, I know. He can be a little hard to handle at times. But come on, we’re here, we might as well introduce everyone to you.”

Kaneki followed behind his human as one investigator after another stopped them to greet Kaneki, all saying some variation of how it was good to meet the one who put such a smile on Amon’s face. The half-ghoul noticed the more this was said, the more Amon’s face flushed. Had he really never had someone he cared for the way he did Kaneki?

He just did his best to keep up with names and not stutter too much. Even Mado wasn’t as intimidating as Kaneki thought he would be. With Amon by his side, things weren’t so bad. As soon as introductions were finished, the questions started in.

“So, how long have you know each other?” someone Kaneki couldn’t see asked. He glanced around the crowd, trying to put a face or name to that voice but he came up empty.

“Um, w-we’ve been dating for a little while now,” he mumbled, glancing at Amon in desperation. He didn’t know how much they were supposed to tell the investigators and he was afraid of saying too much.

“Almost a year,” Amon said. His coworkers all clamored at once to ask why Amon had waited this long to introduce him and Kaneki watched his human’s face turn pink. “We were waiting because we didn’t want to risk ruining what we have.”

“Yeah but his name didn’t come up once, Amon. Not even to me,” Mado interjected, holding his gaze when Amon met it.

The investigator let out a breath and shrugged, looking back to Kaneki. “Well… what we have is important to me. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Kaneki flushed when the crowd gathered around them aww’d. He knew what he meant to the investigator but hearing it confirmed and repeated back to a bunch of Amon’s coworkers was a new territory. He kind of liked everyone being interested in the both of them.

A few more questions made their rounds and after a little while, a few investigators left the party. Amon gave it another twenty minutes before he said that he was calling it a night. He began steering Kaneki toward the door and they’d almost crossed through it when Juuzou called his name.

Amon slowly turned around and his coworker grinned back at him. Wordlessly, he pointed up to the doorframe and Kaneki looked up. A mistletoe hung from the doorframe and he felt his face flush. Meeting Amon’s coworkers was one thing. But kissing him in front of them…?

“Mistletoe. You know what that means,” Juuzou said, letting out a laugh at the two’s hesitation. “Oh come on, just one little kiss.”

Several investigator’s heads turned their way and Kaneki suddenly felt like they were on display. Like everyone was watching for their next move. He turned his gaze up to Amon and decided to just get it over with, standing on tip-toe to reach his human.

Amon’s arms circled his waist and their lips met one another. The room faded from Kaneki’s mind and for the moment, it was just he and his human. Logic told him that once they parted again, someone might still have something to say to them but he didn’t care. He was in Amon’s arms, the best place in the world.


End file.
